Nail and I

Yesterday morning I went to my general practitioner for a routine check up. Three hours later, I left the medical building with a huge bandage on my right big toe. That's what I get for showing my ingrown toenail to a doctor. I thought, oh, I'll just show it to her to make sure I that I'm treating the ingrown toenail correctly.

My toes are really far away from my eyes. Also, I've always had hideous feet. I guess what looked normal to me from nearly 2 yards was actually pretty nasty looking to my doctor. She sent me straight off to the foot clinic down the hall from her office. I'd been to this clinic before. I always feel guilty in its waiting room because compared to the old folks I usually find in there, I'm like an Olympic athlete. I feel like I have no business even taking one of the chairs in there.

*WARNING, MORE NAST AHEAD*

When I finally saw the foot doctor, a resident I guess, he told me that I could get my nail permanently trimmed right then and there. Sure, I said. Let's end this here.

The doctor left the room and I snapped a few pictures of my toe. These pictures brought home the true ickiness of my condition.

Then the doctor returned, catching me in the strange act of photographing my toe. I caught site of the anesthetic needle. My needle phobia management has vastly improved over the years, thanks to a long series of dental procedures. I thought I could handle this poking in stride, until it hit me. THIS DUDE IS GOING TO STICK A LONG NEEDLE INTO MY FOOT! I freaked out just a little at the first poke.

I had to take a break. But miraculously I pulled myself together. With the help of a magazine, some deep breathing and some chit chat from the doctor, I survived the foot stabbing. I only cried out once.

My toe changed from brown to a pale yellow. The holes were the needle had been first oozed drugs, then blood. It was a fascinating sight, but I resisted the urge to take more pictures.

After I was numb and the real doctor came in to make sure the young doctor wasn't sawing my foot off or anything, it was snip and yank. Problem solved for now. (According to the real doctor, getting a permanent clipping was a bad idea because my toe was already infected and ablation of the nail matrix would encourage the infection to get comfortable and stay a while.)

The young doctor asked if I wanted to keep the nail clipping, adding that a lot of people like to keep them. I may take pictures of my feet, but I'm not going to carry around some raggedy bloody nail with me for old times' sake.

Anyway, today my toe looks much better and feels wonderful. All of the nastiness is gone, so I guess the toenailectomy was worth the time and the copay.