Freedom's Not Just Another Word

After many months of feeling rootless because I live outside of a family unit, I am actually enjoying my freedom. I am enjoying my freedom in a way I don't think I did before I experienced a serious romantic relationship.

I was fortunate enough to be able to take a few days of paid vacation recently, and at no time during this break did I ever have to think about what anyone else wanted to do. This is nothing new, but I usually don't appreciate it. It either seems normal or like some kind of lacking.

Actually, the fact that I didn't have any reason to consider anyone else's needs or desires didn't stop me from doing just that. (Sometimes I think that there's a disconnect between the amount of time I spend thinking about others and the image I might project.) The spectre of other people still remained. I couldn't help wondering what other people I know might have thought or felt about this sight or that activity. At the movies: Ha! I hope those guys see this movie because this scene would kill them. In the store: I bet Gretchen would like a pillow in this fabric. In the park: Wouldn't Junior love those horses? I'd have to make sure he didn't stand too close behind them.

As I went for a hike over a rocky trail, I kept picturing my mom stumbling behind me. I had to remind myself that it doesn't matter whether mom or anyone else but me would be comfortable on this particular trail at this time because I am the only one here now. I can handle this trail just fine.