My Moody Makes Me Moody

I'm tired of being moody. I know there isn't much I can do about it. Sometimes all I can do is remind myself that a bad mood is not forever.

Sometimes I feel like everyone can see when I'm in a bad mood, and I hate that. Sometimes I feel like no one can see when I'm in a bad mood, and I hate that, too.

These things make very little sense.

There are people who send my guard hairs up and often I can't explain it. I feel a need to be cold or even antagonistic with these people, but they haven't done anything bad to me. They aren't necessarily rude or aggressive with me. I have to remind myself that I don't need to freeze up on these people or throw barbs at them. Even if they are actually assholes, I should just relax. There's no need to strike first.

P. S.
I think I figured out why I was so moody this evening. I attended back-to-back social events. Most of the people at these events were acquaintances and strangers. During the first event, I spent a lot of mental energy trying to avoid being obnoxious. I couldn't totally let my guard down at the second event either even though I have known the hosts for several months.