DVD Replaced, Commentary Still Missing

Campus scholars can sigh with relief now that the library has replaced its missing signature edition 2 disc Gladiator DVD. I figured I'd better check it out before it goes missing again.

Sorry, Mr. Scott, but Gladiator isn't so entertaining without commentary from Mom. If you'd ever met my mom, a small, plump, bookish African-American lawyer and grandmother with a taste for Talbots, it might surprise you to know that a few of years ago, Ridley Scott's celebration of violence and dirt was her favorite rental. I came home for some holiday and she said let's watch it. I said sure, not knowing that she'd already seen it many times, sort of. Dad retired to his room as soon as we started watching the film, although I imagine he was the one who let it into the house in the first place. Mom had kept it way past its due date, but she'd always doze off before the third act so that she had to watch it from the beginning over and over again.

Naturally, Mom would talk during the movie, making insightful comments about Maximus: "I like him."--Emperor Commodus: "Oh, he's bad."-- The dog: "I like the dog." --The scene at the burnt-up farm where snot runs out of Russell Crowe's nose: "Good acting." -- the African Guy: "He's cute, too." All this done in the same furtive delighted way she would eat sweets (she has diabetes), as if some invisible hand was hovering above ready to wrap her knuckles with a spoon.

I never found out if Dad liked Gladiator.