Future Crushes

Here are the contenders, based on the fact that I saw these guys during a recent winter holiday, a time when I am susceptible to celebrity crushes:

• Xzibit: I don't know his music, but I dug his amusing banter and body markings when I saw him on MTV's Pimp My Ride.


• Meatwad: Meaty, but not much range


• Frylock: Wise, but starchy


• People in the Tiger Woods PGA Tour Video Game: They’re golfers, but with customizable looks.

Yes, 3 on the list are cartoons. I'd be crossing a big line. Better to be crushless.