Troubled Youth: It Wouldn't be Summer without 'Em

For the second summer in a row, I've been troubled by rock throwing hoodlums. This time, they pelted the Manhattan bound Bronx express bus I was riding last night, startling all three people on board and leaving a huge spider web like crack on the window. That won't spoil my fond memories of Quiconque's BBQ.

The other troubled youth I encountered recently was covered in feathers. I saw it on the sidewalk underneath a magnolia on the way to work this morning. At first, I thought, well, another dead baby bird tough luck, but then I looked at the critter closely. It was blinking. The corners of it's mouth were yellow and swollen. I'd heard somewhere that if you touched a baby bird, its parents would reject it. I couldn't imagine how the parents could help the baby back to the nest even if they wanted it back. Then I imagined rats nibbling on it. That settled it. This guy needed my help.

After consulting with some neighbors, I decided to wrap it in a paper towel and a bandana, take it with me to the campus and eventually drop it at the Vet school. It turns out that the Vet school is not authorized to treat wildlife, but they gave me a few reference numbers. I also searched the internet and found many useful facts, for example, birds do not reject their young just because a human has touched them. Meanwhile, my critter was chirping it's head off in the front pocket of my backpack. I was beginning to regret taking the bird off the sidewalk.


Finally, I got through to the good people of Tristate Bird. The woman on the phone said that what I had was not a sick baby but a "teen" sparrow in an awkward learning-to-fly phase. Its fledgling mouth was yellow and swollen by design so that its parents can see it better while feeding. She helped me to ID the breed (House or English Sparrow) and confirmed that the best thing to do was return it to the wilds of West Philly.

I took the teen bird back to the block where I'd abducted him about an hour before, lifting him out of the box using the bandana, much like zoos lift whales out of the water. I released him in the grass under the magnolia tree. A few adult sparrows perched nearby, which I took as a good sign, so I backed away.

Another wildlife rescue woman returned my call. She advised me to check the bird's belly for fullness, but hopefully teen bird will have moved away from where I found him by the time I return to his neighborhood.
So good luck, you crazy teen bird, wherever you are. Stay away from cats and humans, no matter what our intentions may be.