The 'Phews and the Proud

"Baby sisser. Baby sisser."
"I am Aunt _____."
"Baby sisser!"
"Aunt," I repeated. I figured my 2-ear-old nephew, who couldn't possibly remember me from my last visit in 2003, thought I was the baby sitter, but my brother corrected me. The boy was trying to share his excitement about the baby sister he thinks he'll be getting. (Unless he thought I was his new sibling. They tell you Mom's going to have a baby. The next thing you know, you go to the airport with your Dad and pick up a 30 something sister, complete with college education, full dental work and a crick in her neck.)

So began my Easter visit to my older brother's growing family unit in suburban Boston. My brother and his wife appeared sane, in spite of being surrounded by 2 rambunctious boys with thing 3 on the way. (Cross your fingers for a sisser!).

I was standing before their open fridge when Thing 1, the 5-year-old, entered and made the following report:
"Hungry. Thirsty. Bored."
I watched Thing 1's amazing prowess at the toonami and clone wars online arcades with a combination of pride and dread. He can't read (although he recognizes a few words, can count, knows what sounds letters make), yet he has mastered the controls of several complicated computer games and can navigate the web. Like Quiconque, Thing 1, is into Yu Gi Oh!, one of the worst anime programs I have ever seen. He collects cards like this one:
. After looking at a couple of them, I thought, maybe it's a good thing he can't read.

Thing 2, who just turned 2, enjoys Yu Gi Oh as well. He thrusts his finger in the air, or one of his brother's cards and shouts "Attack!" He is also into Mucha Lucha. His favorite toy is a dinner knife. His second favorite toy is a pair of salad tongs.

Yes, I, maiden aunt (unmarried, prudish, up tight, etc.) think the boys watch too much TV (the 2 year old sings the jingle for McDonald's or "Hotdonalds" as he calls it) and play too many video games. They don't eat enough fruits vegetables for my comfort (I usually bring books when I visit, then try to get Thing 1 to eat an apple. This time around the little smart ass asked if I had any books about apples!). They are too aggressive. And yet, they are darlings! Here's a list of cute things they do:

Thing 1
Likes to prepare snack foods
Likes to help set the table
Draws cool monsters
Takes great pleasure in folding his clothes
Likes to watch Iron Chef with Mom
plays soccer

Thing 2
Says "Aw, man!" and "Sorry, dude."
Instead of saying the resolute terrible two "No!" he says "Not now."
Says "Soccer! Soccer!"
Kissed the cover of the "Pat the Bunny" book I gave him.
When I was laying on the lawn, he ran up to me, touched my head and said "Hurt?" I said, no. Then he pushed my head to help me get back up.

Okay, I'll say it. I WANT ONE!

Or do I? My sister in law has morning sickness. She asked if I'd seen any good movies lately. They tried to watch Lost In Translation on on-demand cable, but they never had enough time to see the whole thing, not even in their own house! There are hidden blobs of peanut butter everywhere, small toys and crumbs hide in every crevice. You can't leave anything anywhere. And then there's the aggression, the raw, unprovoked aggression in a house of boys (my brother included).