Crush Utility

Many things that seem uncool or just downright pathological can actually serve a function. Pessimism may have helped humans survive the last ice age, even though it's hindering my ability to thrive in the current age. Impossible crushes may help me by fulfilling the desire to have a crush. If I must have crushes, it's better to have an obviously hopeless crush than to have a tantilizingly hopeful crush, so long as one is aware that there is no absolutely no chance, and this is the tricky part.