Some Kind of Long

Who would you say was the least likely to see Metallica: Some Kind of Monster on its opening weekend? If you guessed me or perhaps a certain librarian/historian/mother to be, well, you lose.

Metallica: Some Kind of Monster was a funny, insightful, rambling rock documentary--a genre that's pretty hard to screw up. It doesn't matter whether or not you actually like the music. Neither Pony Girl nor I could name a Metallica song before we saw this film. I still probably couldn't name one now. Yet we both had a good time. Also, I am a sucker for movies about guys talking to each other(25th Hour, The Best Man, etc.).

The film proves that, in case you didn't know, being rich in the Bay Area doesn't suck. But it also shows us that happiness is not always where you think it might be, especially if you think it might be found on a 2 week bear shooting vodka snorting spree in Russia.

Pony Girl and I took heart from the fact that even superstar egomaniacs have job anxiety. Drummer Lars Ulrich was still anxious to know whether his music would please his Danish father (Pony Girl said he looked kind of like Gandalf). I was a bit saddened by how much the band members hurt each other and how much unhealthy competition there was between them, even those who were no longer a part of the band. In one scene, one of the band member's wives said to a toddler as she removed him from the studio "come on, the boys...I mean the men have to go back to work now." I can't deny the appeal a job that seems to allow you to stay in a perpetual state of mental adolescence, but sometimes being in touch with your inner artistic child makes you an outer obnoxious prick.

The filmmakers could have taken a pointer from lead singer James Hetfield's hair stylist and done some serious cutting. There were far too many scenes of Metallica eating snacks, which made pregnant Pony Girl terribly hungry and didn't teach us much more about the band's inner workings, other than these guys had access to some quality noshing. One piece of grilled salmon was particulary distracting.

I strongly recommend this film to egomaniacs, adolescent boys who should learn a thing or two about anger management and alcohol, collaborative artists, musicians, therapists, and the nosey.