What Was and Wasn't This Weekend

What was on Friday Evening
Free live entertainment was free live entertainment: When you're a woman in your mid 30's and your aunt treats you and your other single woman cousin to "Menopause: The Musical," resist the temptation to read anything into it.
South Street was not Napa Valley: When buying wine for dining in one of Philadelphia's many BYOBs, avoid the store that only sells wines from Pennsylvania.

What was Saturday's Frisb Championships
Warm-up pants were not Playing Pants: When playing a crucial game, be sure the top layers are fully fastened to avoid wardrobe malfunction.
Thinking was Not Doing. Not Thinking was Doing: When the disc is thrown to you, you can just catch it.
Pizza and Beer are Pizza and Beer: Yeah.

What was on channel 12 Saturday Night
The 60's were not the Aughts: When watching Two For the Road starring Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn, enjoy knowing that this film could have only been made in 1967.

What was for Sunday Brunch with Aunt and Cousin and Shopping with Mrs. Ass
Experienced Service was Good Service: When dining at the Marathon Grill, tell them you're in a hurry and they'll assign you an actual waiter instead of a child.
Sunday was not Saturday: When you go to a Sunday yard sale and all of the merchandize was purchased on Saturday, then you got the dates mixed up.
All Targets were Not the Target: When your car's navigational system tries to lead you to the suburban store, ignore it.