My Brain is Wrong

"But I don't feel like it." Why is that so important to me?

My brain went on strike today and I got nothing done. I feel like a zombie.

I seriously think that parts of my brain aren't plugged in, such as the part that gives me a sense of accomplishment. Finishing projects has little intrinsic value to me.

It can't really be that I have no control over this.

I know many responsible people. I wonder if I really am that different from them inside. I feel like I'm just treading in a sea of chaos, well more like a pond of chaos. Things don't matter. I really need to just do things for their own sake, even if there's no pleasure or meaning involved. I need to just plow through.

It will be better when I'm done with these overdue projects. Doing them won't be so awful. Why do these things seem so awful to me?

I feel like there's this constant static in my head and I can't ignore it unless I'm doing something interesting.

I need to rethink how I operate, but first I have to plow through these projects. I am perfectly capable of completing these projects. My work will be satisfactory as usual.