XXL to M and Mixxled Up

Okay. What the hell size am I? I wore a size 14 in high school. I don't know what my actual measurements were at the time. For a strange period about 10 years after high school when I lived in New York City and smoked cigarettes, I my size went down to a 10. Eventually, I regained some weight and I crept up to a 16 where I plateaued--or so I thought. At the beginning of this year, I weighed a LOT more than I did in high school and I was pushing the size 18 envelope. Now I am back down to my "Manhattan weight" (without the nicotine, lucky me!), but I can pack into a size 8. There's no way to know what my actual size was based on the clothes I wore at any given time. This is messing with my mind, man. I am not flattered by this shift in clothing industry size standards. I'm just confused.

Stop playing games with me, fashion industry! Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Pick a standard and tell me what size your clothes are so I don't have to spend all my time trying them on and guessing what might fit. It works for shoe sizes. It works for men's pants. Please.