Hail Mary Janes

This may be as close to a miracle as I will ever come. I was walking by the sidewalk display of a campus shoe store, giving it a cursory glance because I'm a size 11 and shoe sale racks are barren wastelands. But so was the womb of Sarah (I think). Lo, what should appear on that table but a black and comely Mary Jane marked inside with the holy numbers 11 and 16.99.

Rejoice! I saw the shoes and they were good.

(Am I going to hell for this?)