Doing Too Much and Not Enough

As much as I enjoyed the sun this weekend, as much as I applied the lessons of happiness class, I was so very very down this weekend. The grooves of nutty thinking are so well-worn in my brain that it takes very little to flood my mind with misery, in spite of frisbee and flowers.

I feel exhausted, but I haven't accomplished anything.

I want to change so badly, but I have no sense of progress. All around me, people are doing grown-up things. There are no rational reasons why I can't do some of those things, yet they seem impossible for me. Doing the simplest thing is a huge challenge for reasons real and psychological.

I sense all my challenges at once, all tangled up, each contingent on the other.
Here are two examples.
FindeditorialassistantJobnojobshererelocation5thousanddollarmovingexpensesfindapartmentbreakleasescrewroommatehavetomake allnewfriends.
Findeditorialassistantjobnojobshere3hourcommutenotimeforexcerciseorsocialifeforyears.

I know I'm thinking too much. Or I'm not thinking enough. I need more information.

I already did the crazy work-for-nothing-to-get-into-the-media-industry thing once, and frankly I'm really pissed off that I'll probably have to do it again.
Does it have to be that way? I sure as hell hope not, but it looks like it does.