Hell Bent for Lace, or Knitting and Ambition Don't Mix

I thought I could knit lace, but like the song says, I "just haven't earned it yet, baby."

Two weeks ago, I purchased a set of lace patterns from the fancy ass salon de laine, then I bribed Yoko into giving me a quickie open work lesson over some diner food. In spite of of all this, I cannot make the freaking lace scarf of my egotistical dreams. I saw myself handing the scarf to relatives and shocking them with my crafty talents. But no, I can only work about 2 inches of lace before I fail. It only takes a moment of distraction, then Slip! Once I screw up, there's no unraveling, no unknitting, no return. I am forced to frog the whole thing and start over. It's just like a video game where I'm stuck on the 6th level.

To celebrate this experience, I have created my own personal knitting difficulty rating system based on what media I handle while knitting without screwing up.

Level 0--Lost: Okay, so I can't knit and watch a new episode of Lost at the same time, so I get this would be not so much knitting as pulling a sweater out of a drawer.
Level 1--Magnificent Seven: I can watch a beloved action film and not screw up, even when Yule Brenner is on.
Level 2--Funky: I can listen to Purple Rain or talk with live humans.
Level 3--Fox sitcom re-run: Neither Bart, nor Kramer, nor Fraiser will stop me.
Level 4--Car Talk: Two obnoxious guys laughing in a thick Boston accent will not distract me.
Level 5--Off the Hook: Turn off everything
Level 6--Spit out the Gum