Pouting, Crying, and Shouting

Thanksgiving is 2 days away and already I'm starting to go Grinch. As I should have learned when I first read How the Grinch Stole Christmas, you just can't stop that mother from coming. The same goes for New Year and my birthday. Last year, I tried to face down the end of the year holiday onslaught with a my-way-or-the-highway attitude. I threw myself headlong at Christmas and got nothing but bruises to show for it. Bracing myself won't do. I can either side-step it or redirect it's force.

I must find a good strategic defense against holiday misery.

1. Be Selfish
I don't want to. I really want Christmas to be about giving, but I don't have much to give and very few people want what I've got. Perhaps I will purchase some holiday CDs and one of those tinsel trees from UO just for me.

2. Limit Mother
I established a four day Mom limit years ago. It is okay to ignore Mom. It is okay to tell her to get off my back. It is possible to be kind to Mom without sacrificing my sense of self. If she gives me another gift that I know she'd originally purchased for herself months ago with no thought as to it's appropriateness for me, I will try not to make a face.

3. Keep Expectations Low
If I ever mass produced a holiday card, it would contain this bit of wisdom that my father shared with Mom after a holiday meltdown. "Baby, you know Christmas always sucks." Mom had worked herself up into a frenzy laying out a fancy table for me and Dad, which was a total pearls before swine operation. Then she tried to play the Vienna Boys Choir or some crap on the stereo, when all of the sudden one of Dad's raunchy blues CDs got in the mix and she just lost it.

Getting excited about Christmas is risky because it's all tied up with other people. If only the other people could be removed from the equation, but they cannot. If it weren't for others, there would be no holiday.

The only thing I'm really looking forward to this Christmas is The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, but even that could suck. Bill Murray could let me down, so I'm not going to get too fired up.

4. Screw the Children
When the first nephew popped out, I thought, oh boy, now Christmas will be fun again because we can bask in a little one's wonder and joy. Nope. I have never seen a nephew at Christmas. No basking allowed. Now I just send the boys a check and trust it'll go to their education.

You might say that these 4 defense strategies will actually make Christmas worse, that they are antithetical to the whole season. Well, you're right. If enough people in your family circle shrink back from the holidays, then everyone else's holiday is in jeopardy. It's a holiday black hole.

My holidays are smaller than yours. If you can afford big holidays, either emotionally or financially, then take them. They're yours.