The Last of the Extroverts

I'm starting to believe that I'm among the last of extroverts. I am the among the last to groove to the funk of live conversation. There is no real shame in drawing energy from my connection with others, but I sometimes I wish I was more like the introverts. They appear self-sufficient. They seem to be better at the kinds of things that matter in contemporary society. Some of them have shaped that very society to the point where we are all introverts now, even as we socialize. We can control our communications with others better than ever before. One down side is that we control things to such a degree that we become uncanny creatures in an uncanny valley of clever quips, snapshots and menu items.

This style of extroversion doesn't suit me. I don't know if it suits my introverted friends, either.

Honestly, I often take communications through social networks because it's all that I can get. If I'm texting with someone who lives in the the same city as me, I wonder why the hell can't we just get together for a beverage? I'd prefer to share the same space with others, but I don't know if my friends feel the same way. I wonder if they are happier in the contemporary world of texting and posting that frees them from the potential awkwardness and chaos of interacting in person.

Getting together has become way too much of a big deal. Meeting with someone in the same space presents many problems besides logistics. Even in a phone call, there's always a chance for misunderstanding and hurt feelings. For instance, there will come a time when one person will want to go, even though the other person would like to remain. And although this is awkward, it doesn't negate the value of getting together in the first place.

 I must admit that I can't think of a time that I've felt lonelier than I do now. I once thought I understood the difference between loneliness and solitude, but that line is blurry today.

Confessions of a Flake

The conversion narrative has come up again at work, inspiring yet another project idea. I will write something called Confessions of a Flake.

Today, I was outflaked ten-fold by someone very successful in his/her field. This stirred a mix of admiration and confusion. So many questions. Can I still be a flake and succeed? Why does this person get to be a flake when I don't? How can I make flakiness work for me?

I don't really want to be a flake, but if it is my nature, there's no point in fighting it.