Dream Joke

A joke from last night's dream:

A Girl I Knew in 9th Grade: What does the baby say?

Me: I don't know. What does the baby say?

A Girl I Knew in 9th Grade: Crying! Crying!

Yeah, I know. I guess you had to be there.

Eye of the Storm

I feel as if I'm in some kind of deceptively calm zone. All kinds of crazy crap is happening around me, but it doesn't seem to affect me now. I suspect that I should be doing something about the situation; however, in the absence of any real understanding of the crap storm, maybe the best thing for me to do is just go home and eat dinner.

Also, I'm having a bit of a block with some new free software. You get what you pay for. Once I throw myself into the project more wholeheartedly, I'll probably figure things out pretty quickly.

Bye, Mom!

Mom should be at the airport by now, waiting for her flight back home. Thanks to MJP and The Kid for helping me to show her a good time this weekend.

File Under "Great Googly-Moogly!"

Like Quiconque's sister's rendition of "American Woman" and certain episodes of "The Office," Nader's Existential Parrot Ad nearly brought a tear to my eye. That was beautiful, man.

A Weekend Weekend

Rest and relaxation made this past weekend special. Often, housekeeping and stuff make weekends more like work than a a day on the job. But this weekend, chores were put on hold. I didn't do laundry. I barely even spent time in a grocery store.

On Saturday, MJP and I checked out the Crumb show at the ICA and learned that there's only so much underground comic you can take in one visit. Later, we had a little picnic in Rittenhouse square. At night, we went to Second Saturday in Collingswood. Truth be told, we did run out of gas on the way back to Philly, but thanks to a Delaware Port Authority cop, we were back on the move in short order.

Yesterday I drove to Long Beach Island to hang out with Trix and Snacks. Sage and the Rizz were there, too. I watched baby clams scoot themselves into the sand. I stayed the night at Trix and Snack's beach house. This morning, I tried to catch a sunrise over the ocean, but I was a bit too late. Still, the dawn sky was spectacular and I did get to see a live crab in its natural habitat instead of in a market basket.

Now I'm back in Philly, thinking about chores again. Next weekend will definitely not be a weekend weekend because relatives are coming to town.

A Sigh of Relief

Reasons why weirdos like me don't have to worry about the outcome of the Presidential election and stuff like that:

1. I work for a behemoth non-profit.
My benefits are pretty sweet. Maybe I don't make a lot of money, so I don't have a lot to lose. Also, my main source of income is a relatively safe harbor from the winds of economic change. Market forces take a long time to affect this place.

2. I walk to work.
Even if public transit is eliminated, I'll be okay. I have no idea how much money it costs to fill a gas tank because I don't even own a car.

3. I don't have children.
Future generations? Schools? Whatever.

4. I live in an urban enclave of weirdos.
If Crab and Barracuda win, what will change in the enclave of weirdos? Perhaps more weirdos will be able to afford housing if values decline. The community bonds will grow stronger as neighbors once again click their tongues, shake their heads and commiserate about the election results over a kale smoothie at the coffeehouse, especially the ones who vote for Nader or try to write Ron Paul's name on their ballots.

5. I live on a hill, sort of.
Rising ocean levels will reach me much later than other people.

6. I am willing to eat bugs.
Last week I proved to myself that if need be, I can eat a bug without gagging.

7. I did it my way?
Forget all the hand-wringing, back-biting and second guessing at Huffington Post and leftier blogs. "It's over.", "No it's not!", "Ten things Obama must do", "Three things you have to do." "Fight back!", "Stay cool!", "Get smarter", "Play dumb.", "Get the truth out!" "Forget the truth and fight fire with fire!" In the end, people will believe what they want to believe. Even though I am not in charge of much, even though I am not among those who'll be most hurt if it doesn't work out, the most important question is am I doing all that I can do to help or am I going to shake my head and curl up around a smoothie?

Oo, That Smell: Advice for Young Job Seekers

Recently, we've been interviewing students for work/study jobs and I have a few worlds of advice for all young job seekers: The best smell is no smell. DO NOT wear cologne, perfume, or the dreaded body spray. Unless you want would-be employers to associate your face with a restroom air freshener or a bad blind date, leave your signature fragrance in the bottle on interview day.

What is driving these youth to douse themselves in scent? I had to open my window immediately after interviewing the last kid who came in.

Cross Post on Arts & Crafts Circle

I'm writing stuff all over the place lately. Check out "Nalbinding and Noils," my post at Arts & Crafts Circle.

Happy Birthday, MJP

Happy Birthday,MJP.
You live in Jersey.
You smell like Surf detergent
and you look hot to me.

Thanks for Scaring the Bejezus Out of Me

Maybe Palin's extreme right wing views, flimsy reformer credentials, and her let's-fight-the-civil-war-again associates will help unify the Democratic party and other progressives. More people now identify themselves as Democrats. If enough of us can mobilize with the same tenacity as the dreaded right wing base, maybe we can prevent things from going down the toilet. I am more politically energized now than I was last week. There is something to the idea that, while it is good to be for something, it also helps to be against the alternative thing.

Pundits talk about the right wing base being energized. I want more information about what they do with this energy that makes them more formidable. Perhaps their strength is not entirely based on telling people that if they don't vote for their candidate, they'll go to hell. I hope it's not everyone saying the same thing in the same way like a bunch of robots.

Another Passenger

Looks like there will be another passenger on the Hypocrisy Express.

Pterodactyls, Ahoy!

I don't want to explain it. I just wanted to say it.

Thank you.

McCain's VP Pick Reminds Me of Cheap Perfume Ad

I looked on YouTube and found that I'm not the only one to associate Palin with Enjoli's ad from the 70s. You've come a long way, baby!

Hey, Fever

Hey, Fever! Leave this kid alone.

Loratadine (Claritin) was my go-to allergy relief drug, protecting me from cat dander without making me loopy, but this season it hasn't had much effect. I suspect that the batch of store brand loratadine that I purchased from a certain hometown discount box retailer was cut with fillers, because it hasn't done a thing against my recent allergy attack. Fortunately, I also have some loratadine packaged for a certain national drug store chain based in Rhode Island. It seems to be working a little better.

Like a certain malt liquor, diphenhydramine (Benedryl) works every time. It also knocks me out, and when I wake up I'm moodier than a middle school kid under a full moon.

I will try cetirizine (Zyrtec) next. If that doesn't help, I'll try to score some Allegra from my GP.