Ashyknees' Time Killer

The author is willing, but her punctuation is weak.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Saving the Wrong Daylight

Right now, I'm getting ready to go home in the dark. Thank you, daylight savings.

I'd be grateful for getting to sleep in on a Sunday, only I always sleep in on Sundays.

For those of you who get up with the sun to fetch fresh eggs and harvest a mess o root vegetables, say, farmers without headlights on their machinery or back-to-nature types living in a yert, I guess daylight savings is worth it. But as far this city slicker is concerned, we're saving the wrong daylight.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Secret of Older Moms: Younger Partners?

I present the following hypothesis, based on this quote from a recent article from BBC news about a study finding no difference in capability between older moms and younger moms:

"
...many of the women in the study had younger partners, which could influence their ability to cope."

If you want to have a baby later in life, find yourself a young hottie!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Too Much Information and Not Enough

I'm sure other lay people have run across the problem of finding too much information and not enough information as they search for answers about their medical conditions. At one end, I find a lot of simple symptom check lists. At the other, I come across statements like this one:

"ADHD," Sowell and Peterson concluded in the study, "is almost certainly a disorder of heterogeneous etiologies that have correspondingly heterogeneous neuro-anatomical underpinnings."

You can't argue with that!

Worse yet are the rantings of people who believe that to test for ADHD and try to overcome difficulties associated with it is to buy into some kind of lax morality or rigid conformity. Yes, there is some conformity involved in the treatment I've received so far, mostly about learning to play well with others, but my doctors aren't in league with Kim Jong Il.

I try to take comfort in the websites that claim ADHD is some kind of gift. But the ones that go on to say that everyone from Ben Franklin to Gandhi had it make me a little skeptical.

Too Much Awareness or Not Enough

Recently, I feel as though I've become uncomfortably aware of my thought processes. It's not that I wasn't self-conscious before I suspected that I had ADHD, but that feeling had more to do with my fear of screwing up. Now, I'm not so afraid of screwing up. I just can't stop noticing how often I'm screwing up.

I always knew I was strange, but now I see a whole new dimension of my condition. For example, only recently did I discover that forgetting why I walk into a room is not something that happens to everyone else at least a couple of times a day.

Now every time I space out, tap my toes, or say something that might be inappropriate (even if it's true or amusing), I think, ah ha! It's the ADHD!

Perhaps this new awareness will lead me to control the negative aspects of my different way of processing information. Perhaps not. Right now, my awareness of these things seems to come a moment too late.

Also, while I'm obsessing over myself, I want to know how come I was such a good reader as a child, why I was so good at one of the most boring jobs a person could have--legal document coding, and stuff like that, if part of my brain is slow or screwy or whatever? Did other parts of my brain manage to "work around" these abnormal parts?Nothing I've read on ADHD seems to offer a satisfactory explanation of that. (Some of the descriptions of ADHD that I've read make me wonder, if I have it, how come I'm not in prison.)

The Zimmerman Code

Is it knitting sacrilege to complain about an Elizabeth Zimmerman pattern?

Her Baby Surprise Jacket seems like a happy little project, a kind way to ease into sweater making, until you get to row 7. Then all hell breaks loose. What defines a "ridge?" How and where do I place the stitch markers after I do the psso and k2tog (sorry about the knitting jargon. For definitions, check knitty.com)?

The part that confused me the most was "After 22 dec (90 stitches), work 3 rows even" I stared and stared at those words for what seems like an eternity until their meaning finally came into focus. Zimmerman means After I have done 22 decreases (actually 44, I suppose), then I work 3 rows even.

Apparently, I am not alone in my confusion. The Baby Surprise Jacket pattern is funky enough to have inspired someone out to create a pattern supplement and post it on the internet (Too bad I forgot to bookmark it). It's like, the pattern has Cliff Notes.

During lunch, I studied the pattern again and I think I figured out where I went wrong in my approach. Still, if anyone out there has advice about placing stitch markers, let me know.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

What Kind of Poo Am I Standing In Now?

My friend, Cha Cha, is an extremely proud owner of 2 Corgi dogs. She takes them to a local working dog club for sheep herding lessons. Last weekend, I got the chance to tag along with her and attend a sheep trial where local dogs get to show their herding prowess.

Cha Cha did not enter her dogs in the trial, but her friend had a dog entered in the event. Before they came to pick me up, I asked Cha Cha what I should bring to the trial. She said to wear junky shoes, "ones that you don't care if you ever wear them again." I wore my rubber boots, and I'm glad I did.

Cha Cha also warned me that there'd be freaks aplenty at the trial. They were mostly women (about half with the short haircut some associate with women who are really really into dogs. At first, these dog people didn't seem any stranger than other enthusiasts. Sure, not everyone walks around sporting sweatshirts, jackets, or caps with pictures of German Sheperds intricately embroidered on the front. Most people don't have airbrushed portraits of their pets painted on the back of their van. Most people I know express concern when stepping in all sorts of poo.

"Am I standing in poo?" I asked.
"Yeh." a large woman answered.
"What kind of poo am I standing in now?" I asked. No reply.

But the complete freakiness of these people didn't come out until the duck controversy later in the day.

Cha Cha's friend's dog wasn't exactly in competition. This newbie dog, a Corgi with tawny eyes and golden spots, was in some kind of test for dogs in training. Just like in the movie, Babe, the dogs and their humans had to lead a small flock of sheep around some traffic cones, fences, and back into their pen. This takes all the newbie dogs' concentration, for the test field is full of distracting smells, and the sheep are so exciting. Staying just the right distance from the sheep to keep them going in the right direction without freaking them out is the big challenge.

In spite of some wandering off course and excessive barking, all the dogs in the test passed, except for a German Shepard who got a little too primal. The second time the German Shepard bit a sheep, the judge said, "Thank you." and it was over. There was much murmuring about the dog owner's threatening use of his stick. All the humans who participate in the trial carry special sticks--strait, fiberglass versions of Bo Peep's crook. The proper thing is to use the stick to indicate where the dogs and sheep needs to be, but not to whack any living thing with it.

After the beginner test, I watched an intermediate sheep trial. At this level, the human does not walk around with the dog and the sheep. Instead, the dogs work alone, guided by orders from the stationary human in the corner of the field. This was pretty cool. The dogs were so smart. The best humans were firm and loud, but didn't sound like they were yelling. The eye contact. The timing. I'm not doing it any justice here. It was just cool.

Then came the really weird part. The duck herding competition. I guess because sheep and their poops are so large, there aren't enough flocks of them to go around for all the pet working dogs who need exercise. So sometimes, the dogs herd ducks. No, it doesn't have any of the timeless majesty of sheep herding. It serves no purpose beyond sport.

Anyway, a small controversy broke out over the ducks. One of the competitors demanded that the ducks be lead through the course by humans in advance of her dog's trial. It was absurd.

Cha Cha and her friend had had enough, so we drove back to the city with a shiny test passing ribbon for the golden-spotted Corgi.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Wenttoasheeptrialsawamovie

More later!