Ashyknees' Time Killer

The author is willing, but her punctuation is weak.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Save the Internet

http://savetheinternet.com/

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

Avoid at all costs any invitation to join a senior citizen on her trip to the gym, especially if you or the senior in your life has a bit of a competative streak. I knew from the moment I said yes to such an invitation, I was opening myself up to a world of dangers.

As I rode to the local Y, I prepared for a "Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!" experience. Fortunately, I was able to beg off on joining my beloved senior's toning workout class. I figured either I would easily glide through the routine, which might make her feel bad, or the grannies would leave me in the dust, which would make me feel even worse.

I couldn't, however, escape from the weight training. As I flew through the routines set up for my beloved senior, she finally had to say, "You're pretty strong!" "Yes." I said, fighting back my wish to add "but not for someone half your age."

This seems to be a part of the beloved senior's not so covert mission to remake me in her image. She enjoys recommending clothes that, while flattering on her, would make me look like a tank, and home furnishings that cost more than my rent. Later that day, she tried to convince me that a once a week visit to the hair salon was as unavoidable as a woman's "monthlies." She even drove me to her hair dresser, which was thankfully closed, and paused in the parking lot as if to somehow condition me to it.

2 Leagues Down

This spring I'm in two frisbee leagues. The womens league seems to provide more opportunities for me to actually touch the frisbee during a game and listen to discussions about wood panelling as the team runs across the field. The co-ed league provides more opportunities to look at toddlers, dogs, and guys pulling various muscles, diving into the turf, etc.

Again, women--who fool me into thinking they were wimps by trotting on to the field all limp-wristed and girly--suddenly take off like rockets leaving me looking like a chump. But no more, from now on I assume that every woman I'm guarding, no matter how flabby, boney, bored, or giggly, is a wiley she-wolf.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Is It Really That Bad?

Is Africa really as bad off as it seems?

It's Really That Good

In a world where even the word overrated has become overrated, I was suprised by the amazing goodness of The Constant Gardner. I'm even afraid to recommend it for fear that my friends' viewing of it will be tainted by my hype.

Still, my favorite Ralph Fiennes performance is in Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Week Accounted

2 frisbee games
1 sore ass
2 films about Gypsies
3 visits from VerAsson, 0 land line hook ups
756 buckwheat noodles
1 4-tiered Ikea shelf assembled
10 more boxes unpacked
5 authentic Indian frozen breads from Pillsbury
1 doctor's appointment
1 open work scarf knitted at last(I think)