Sneezin on the Season

Each year I get less excited about the winter holidays. The push to shop, the focus on households that are unlike mine, and the barrage of unhealthy foods are just a few of my least favorite things about this time of year.

I want to enjoy the holidays. I want to celebrate. Unless I do something to make Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year work for me, the whole holiday joy thing will continue to fade into memory.

I will come up with ways to make the holidays more fun and meaningful.

Like Marlene Dietrich

I want to cultivate the skill of getting people to take decent photographs of me. This would be easier if I was shorter or I could convince people to stand on chairs when taking the shot. Here are some ideas.

Fight natural tendency to face away from the sun.
Suck it in!
Shoulders back. I'm all slouchy like LaVerne DiFazio in too many of my pictures.
Get a more flattering sports bra. (I like to have my picture taken when I am doing sporty things outdoors so I'm usually dressed for comfort.)

What I can't figure out is where to put my face. Should I point my chin down and away from my neck? What I'm doing now, sticking my chin up and out, isn't working. Would it be better to hold my face at an angle or give full frontal face?

The internet will have answers.

My Moody Makes Me Moody

I'm tired of being moody. I know there isn't much I can do about it. Sometimes all I can do is remind myself that a bad mood is not forever.

Sometimes I feel like everyone can see when I'm in a bad mood, and I hate that. Sometimes I feel like no one can see when I'm in a bad mood, and I hate that, too.

These things make very little sense.

There are people who send my guard hairs up and often I can't explain it. I feel a need to be cold or even antagonistic with these people, but they haven't done anything bad to me. They aren't necessarily rude or aggressive with me. I have to remind myself that I don't need to freeze up on these people or throw barbs at them. Even if they are actually assholes, I should just relax. There's no need to strike first.

P. S.
I think I figured out why I was so moody this evening. I attended back-to-back social events. Most of the people at these events were acquaintances and strangers. During the first event, I spent a lot of mental energy trying to avoid being obnoxious. I couldn't totally let my guard down at the second event either even though I have known the hosts for several months.

Exploding the Plastic Inevitable

I would like to rewrite most of my myths. First I have to find them, then take them apart.

The first myth I have to explode is the idea that I will always be a certain kind of person, or that the kind of person I am can't do certain things. I don't mean things like being a gymnast, giving birth to 5 children, or earning a PhD in astrophysics. On the other hand, I don't mean things like balancing my checking account everyday or never eating another pastry again. Some things ain't gonna happen for various reasons. But there are a lot of great things that I can do and actually want to do that seem out of reach, even though there are no real barriers in my way accept my beliefs.

Trying to break bad habits or at least mitigate them requires that I actually believe that change is possible. I'm starting to convince myself that meaningful change can happen, but since I'm pretty stubborn, it's a tough sell. The thing that seems to work best is catching myself at little turning points when I'm doing something that is so "me" that it almost seems inevitable. At those moments I ask myself, "Do I have to do that? Is this inevitable?" And the answer is usually "No." These moments are difficult to identify. Then, another question often arises. "If I am not going to do this action that's not so good for me, what am I supposed to do instead?" Nothing is not a good answer. I'm not a stand and breathe kind of woman. So I have to prepare an alternative.

Sometimes other people are helpful. Sometimes they are not. Seeing other people actively change can be uncomfortable. When I see people struggling to make changes, I will wonder if they need to put themselves through all the stress. I would rather seem them comfortable. But if they were truly relaxed and at peace with their situation, instead of just familiar with it and quiescent, they wouldn't be struggling. Some of the changes other people try seem kind of unnatural or just plain stupid to me. These are usually changes that involve the structure of body parts, physical urges, or third parties. You might be able to convince me that nuclear power is a viable source of energy, but you're never going to get me to close the cupboard every time I take out a dish.