Ashyknees' Time Killer

The author is willing, but her punctuation is weak.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Blog vs. Facebook

Even though I've become a frequent facebook user, I still enjoy posting to this blog. One of the main reasons for this is that the blog allows me to write at length about things that I don't necessarily want the facebook people to associate with my actual name.

While I am not under the misapprehension that anything I put on the internet is truly anonymous, (This blog certainly isn't. Pretty much everyone who reads it knows who I am.) I like to think my facebook profile and my blog operate in two separate spheres. The boundary between those spheres is porous, but it is still there.

Maybe I'll reach a point where I won't say anything online, under a pseudonym or not, that I wouldn't want my family or co-workers to hear. Until then, when I want to tell the world what I think about K-Y jelly, I have my blog.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Jill of All Trades

My job, like most of the jobs I've had, requires me to know a little bit about many things, but doesn't seem to provide the opportunity to acquire any deep knowledge about one particular subject. This suits my mental tendencies, but the drawback is that I have no expertise.

I would like to be a master of something. I considered becoming a master knitter, but the credential doesn't seem to carry enough prestige. Take a look at the pictures at the The Knitting Guild Association's masters program website. These women don't look very different from people with masters degrees from academia. I bet some of them also have masters degrees from academia. I wonder which masters they're happiest about?

My excuses for not getting a masters degree:
I don't want more debt.
I hate jargon.
I don't think I have more than 2,250 words to say about any particular subject.

My reasons for wanting a masters degree:
A lot of people I know have them.
It's something to do.

I've been trying to create a list of the books that most influenced my thinking for one of those facebook five lists. I realize that I can't remember the names of the books from the first course in my major, communications. A lot of the material I read for the course was in a bulk pack of excerpts. Still, I'm kind of bummed out about the fact that I can't remember the books, only the ideas. I'm not sure I actually read a book by Saussure, but I was really excited about the ideas that someone said were his. Did I actually read Christian Metz, or just a critique of Metz? And who wrote that article on the effect of camera angle on credibility, or that thing about frog retinas? I wonder if the professor would mind sending me a copy of the syllabus from a course he taught over 20 years ago. I seemed to have a natural gift for playing the communications game, but I was a lackluster student.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Business Travel

After a few days of solo business travel, I understand why Willy Loman went astray.

I was out of town representing my employer's wares at a conference for a few days and I confess that I quickly became bored and lonesome as hell. For some reason, having nothing to do in a hotel room feels worse than having nothing to do in my apartment. It's no coincidence that strip clubs were prominently advertised in the hotel's what-to-do-in-town magazine. That's fine for those who are into pneumatic breasts and waxed butt cracks. But for me, all I had for diversion was basic cable and a bag of Zapp's crawtators. At least Semi-Pro came on.

Perhaps successful business travelers have a talent for making friends quickly. I am not able to hang out with strangers or strike up conversations out of thin air. In the exhibition hall, I had stuff to talk about, but after five I had no idea how to connect with anyone. The young researchers at the conference were very social, but I didn't know any of them and then, I'm not young and I'm definitely not a researcher.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Discomfort

For a lubricant, K-Y Jelly is very good at making me uncomfortable. Yet another of their advertisements has put me off.

First there was the television commercial in which a guy wearing loafers and no socks is reading the paper. The moment the "warming sensation" is mentioned, he looks up from his paper as if it suddenly dawned on him that sex might be a good thing. But the problem for me is the idea of a guy wearing loafers and no socks suddenly feeling frisky. Go wash your feet first, mister.

Next there was a pop-up internet ad which made a giant drop of K-Y jelly appear on my computer screen. I was just innocently surfing around, maybe looking at drugstore.com or something, then Plop! I get cyber lubed.

Now there's a new TV spot in which some Smedley guy says "she's a screamer." That ruins it. The shot of the woman standing next to a geyser is fine. It's charming. But Smedley needs to keep "she's a screamer" to himself.

A Phine Day in Philly

The city looks great. Today is a day of remembrance for many of the locals, but for me it was a day of sunshine and stimulating the economy with some retail fun. Some new make up, cannoli from Termini Bros., more yarn, and a pair of earrings from the Clark Park Earth Day Fair.

To top it off, I actually saw a neighborhood teenage boy throw his empty beverage bottle into a trashcan. Thanks, young man!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Stir it Update

Last night, instead of going back to my apartment after visiting the nursing home, I went to Dock Street and had pizza and beer. Then I went for a walk. So that was an improvement.

The rest of the evening was not so great. My usual PBS habit hit a new low as I found myself getting into a show called Lark Rise to Candleford while I practiced my feather and fan stitch. It's like I was saying, "Hey, menopause! You might as well come and get me now."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Stir It Up

I need to stir things up a bit now. I'm not looking for trouble or anything, but this calm business doesn't suit me. I will take some time this evening to think about a new non-knitting related project.

I feel like I've given up one routine for another, less interesting routine.

Given the general social inertia that surrounds me, I might have to do something radical to generate a little action, something besides visiting a nursing home every Thursday after work and creating more movie lists for my facebook profile.

Monday, April 06, 2009

I Blame Patrick Stoner for this Dream

Last night, I dreamed that in an effort to generate more visitors and revenue, the Smithsonian had decided to go Epcot. They built a new amusement complex with a theme that I can only describe as "Asian Fusion Metropolis." The park looked like a large neighborhood next to a canal. They wanted to appeal to families and college kids on spring break who wanted something a bit more sophisticated. I went into a grocery store in the park, but the security started to trail me when they noticed that I wasn't interested in buying any of their overpriced liquor. I was, however, interested in purchasing one of the cool monocles available at another store.

I blame Patrick Stoner for this dream. Last night on WHYY, they showed one of his cheesy Hollywood interviews with the director of the Night at the Museum sequel, which is set in the Smithsonian.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Drippy

It's one soggy day here in Philadelphia.

It feels strange to have caught up with most of my work. I'm spending a lot of time looking at facebook, waiting for someone to say something entertaining. Work will become busy again soon enough, so I might as well make the most of this short period of calm by writing a post.

I want to crank out a couple of knit caps for an upcoming family baby shower. I selected this yarn in circus peanut, honeydew(I think), and orchid.

I hesitate to use the circus peanut because it might be confused with pink and I don't want anyone making the incorrect sorority associations. I don't give a damn about such things, but I suspect the mother-to-be might.