Too Cheap (Broke) to Be Social

I might have to put my plans to mix and mingle on hold until pay day. Even the low-end meetup.com activities aren't free.

I'm starting to think about these things in terms of cost effectiveness. I don't use paid online dating services, and now I'd better be even more particular about how I spend my relationship dollars. Yes, I said it. Relationship dollars.

From a pure relationship perspective, I've seen little return on investment from my museum membership. I have yet to meet anyone new at the museum. Perhaps if I had some dates at the museum, that membership would begin to pay off.

The movie meetup.com group doesn't seem very cost-effective either. Yes, I love movies and talking about movies, but movie-going doesn't lend itself to meeting people. 2 hours and almost $10 later (if I can resist the popcorn), will I have gotten to know anyone? Maybe I should stick to going to bargain matinees by myself or with friends.

Then there's drinks. I should only buy soft drinks at social events from now on.

It's 4:22 p.m.: Who Am I Kidding?

Let's face it. Between 4:00 p.m. and about 4:45 p.m., I am pretty much useless, unless you count finding funny stuff to post on people's facebook walls. And look out, co-workers, because this is the time when I'm likely to stick my mug into your cubicle and ask you a stupid question about vegetables or colors, or share one of my observations about the show I watched last night on the New Jersey Network.

I should go for a walk or something at this time.

My Brain has at Silver Lining or Two

I just read and interesting blog post called Evolutionary (and writerly) advantages of depression? It certainly rang true for me, even though I'm not especially depressed right now.

Also, here's a quote from ADDitude magazine.

"Hyperfocus can help you show your love. When her son needed a new blanket for his bed, a mom gathered the yarn and needles, found a comfy chair, and finished a colorful afghan in two days."

Jagged and Fuzzy

Sometimes the people I visit at the nursing home illustrate that the line between religious faith and mental illness is jagged and fuzzy.

Freedom's Not Just Another Word

After many months of feeling rootless because I live outside of a family unit, I am actually enjoying my freedom. I am enjoying my freedom in a way I don't think I did before I experienced a serious romantic relationship.

I was fortunate enough to be able to take a few days of paid vacation recently, and at no time during this break did I ever have to think about what anyone else wanted to do. This is nothing new, but I usually don't appreciate it. It either seems normal or like some kind of lacking.

Actually, the fact that I didn't have any reason to consider anyone else's needs or desires didn't stop me from doing just that. (Sometimes I think that there's a disconnect between the amount of time I spend thinking about others and the image I might project.) The spectre of other people still remained. I couldn't help wondering what other people I know might have thought or felt about this sight or that activity. At the movies: Ha! I hope those guys see this movie because this scene would kill them. In the store: I bet Gretchen would like a pillow in this fabric. In the park: Wouldn't Junior love those horses? I'd have to make sure he didn't stand too close behind them.

As I went for a hike over a rocky trail, I kept picturing my mom stumbling behind me. I had to remind myself that it doesn't matter whether mom or anyone else but me would be comfortable on this particular trail at this time because I am the only one here now. I can handle this trail just fine.

Vacation

Vacation planning might be even more important than planning what to do at work.