BBC.com Crackpots of Science

Perhaps this ass and this loony will splice their genes together to create a super race of god emperor dorks who will rule over some sad but plush little basement.

Bona Fide Suitors

There are a lot of goofuses and downright nightmares in the online dating world. More Men seeking Women that we can count treat internet dating as if it were a KFC drive thru.

But rather than lament the existence of these losers, I've decided to celebrate the winners. Inspired by from Holly Hunter's character in O Brother Where Art Thou? I call them bona fide suitors. I might not want to date these guys. They may be full of shit, but their profiles are bona fide.

The first Bona Fide Suitor Prize goes to CourageousCat on okcupid, even though he included is income in is profile (I find that distasteful.). Here's a man who can express himself verbally. Here's a man who managed to find a decent photograph of himself. Here's a man who bothered to fill out the questionnaire. (Yes, guys. Showing up is half the battle.) He manages to share is concerns for the world without whining or devolving into negativism. He displays his intelligence with good humor.

My helmet is off to you, CourageousCat.

Shucks

I took the The Classic Leading Man Test and it turns out I'm Jimmy Stewart.

My Classic Dames Score

Golly, this explains a lot. And there I was I was hoping for Rosalind Russell.

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn
You scored 14% grit, 33% wit, 47% flair, and 11% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Water, Water, Everywhere

As I explore the wilderness of dating, I keep running into this question. "So, do you date white guys?" It's kind of annoying, but the more troubling question turns out to be "So, do you date black guys?" The answer is not much. I haven't dated many guys to begin with, but the fact is that most of them were not black. Here's the ethnic breakdown of guys I've been involved with (dated and other).

Arab: 8.3%
Black: 25%
Mexican: 8.3%
Indian: 16%
White: 50%

What do these figures tell me, other than the fact that I'm low on East Asians?

They are a reflection of my sociological predicament. Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink. I'm surrounded by black men, but when I go to the well for dates, they aren't in my bucket. While don't plan on changing my bucket, I'm considering new wells, wells where there are probably a lot of men looking for God Fearing Women to be their Queen or some such. But, hey, there's a lot of goofiness in the "mainstream" dating sources, too.

I still don't plan to limit my dates to one group or another. I may end up with an Inuit or with no one at all. But no one can pretend that race isn't a factor in a relationship. In an ideal world, the ethnicity of my dates wouldn't make any difference. But, I don't live there. I live in Philadelphia. Race is a complication that I'll have to deal with, no matter what.

The British Cure

Slate.com offers a prescription for an ailing American Office, but I advocate the British cure for a show that's past its prime. Pull the plug.

American television producers, if you follow the British model, follow it all the way. That's right. When you've run out of fresh ideas, stop the series and come up with a new one. Yes, it's a challenge, but it's not impossible. New by television standards could simply mean remaking another British sit com. Whatever, just move on and leave me with the hilarious memory of a show done right, not the sad disappointment of watching one of my favorite programs become yet another mediocrity.

I miss scrabble

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/7056567.stm

Lust: 1, Caution: 0

The score according to Ang Lee.

Words from Brugge

you would only have an ability of being a potential enemy of mine, of three %,

whoever you are,

you have to be more than an angel,

i did not want to disturb you, if i did,

i 'll have breakfast in the morning,

with all of your demons,

have a very, nice day,

Demon Cheese

Demon Cheese, I rebuke you! With a scourge of celery I send you back to creamy hell.

In other news, some guy from Europe sent me a poem. Since I don't know what the hell it means, I will take it as a compliment.

Remembering My Mad Skillz

As I reach for new things and consider my next steps, it's easy to forget what's going well in my life. So each day this week, I'm going to devote time to appreciate the things about me that don't suck.

One important thing I have going for me now is a set of skills that help me combat personal misery. I also have a better understanding of how my brain works. So now I know that I can overcome all kinds of personal crap, even if world events continue to disturb me.

I may not have perfect judgment, but my experience has taught me that the two worst things I can do are to base my choices on the perceived opinions of others and to not make choices at all.

Beware the Gimlet

It was all gracious living at the Sage & Rizz wedding this weekend. Such perfect weather. Such abundant ravioli. Such glowy glow sticks. Such generous bartending.

I'd never had a gimlet before. It looked so refreshing. I didn't know it was basically a big glass of vodka. One would have sufficed, but two practically sent me back to 1990. Thank heavens no one put The Immaculate Collection on the gramophone.